My Aunt
Johnny handed me the “Living Life” devotional booklet a couple days ago. So far, I really enjoy it. There are only a few amount of verses to read per day, but it’s just the right amount of verses to fully meditate on. There was one quote that I read in the booklet, I think it was a Monday. It was a quote from St. Augustine, “No man can fully understand and comprehend God. If you have understood God, you have failed.” When I read that quote, I picked up my pen and wrote “lol” beside it.
But it’s true. How can the finite fully grasp the infinite? I remember back in junior high where I truly believed I’ve mastered Christianity from the many Sunday school activities and the private Christian school I attended. Boy was I wrong. God became increasingly more wise as I grew in wisdom. He became increasingly more powerful as I gained more strength from the Word. He became more gracious and merciful as the power of the cross became more real in my life. God continues to break through my small, finite framework of who He is. I love that.
My Aunt from norcal came to visit for the week. Many people haven’t heard of her, but some people have heard more things about her than I’ve ever known. She is one of the pastors at FRCC, Fore Runner Christian Church. I’ve grew up in their yearly winter and summer retreats ever since I was a little child. FRCC is charismatic up the wazoo. Nevertheless, it was my childhood. Her specialty is in worship, so I’ve heard. All the songs that the Chinese congregation sings are all written by her. (If I’ve known that sooner, I would’ve been a musical major!) She felt the Lord call her to celibacy around her 30’s and she has been devoted to the Lord ever since.
And so, this great spirit filled worship pastor has been living with me and will continue to live with me for the rest of this week. She led me to do many things that I honestly felt quite uncomfortable in doing. But it brought me back to my childhood memories, the time where I thought I mastered God and all this spiritual mumbo jumbo was a bunch of nonsense. But here I am. I’m 22 years old in the year 2010 and God has been a great God in the previous years in my life. Who am I to dismiss what is nonsense and what isn’t?
These past few days has been a humbling experience. My aunt continues to tell me, “It’s one thing to be filled with information, and it’s good, but there must be transformation in your life. God has definitely blessed you with a hunger for knowledge, but your heart is dry and your soul is weak.” Perhaps she’s right, perhaps she’s wrong. But what’s important is to hear the words of my Aunt and inquire the Lord. As I mentioned before, these past few days has been very humbling. Yes, my heart is dry. Yes, my soul is weak. My Aunt has been leading me in waiting upon the Lord every night. I’ll tell you the truth. It’s not all that enjoyable. But God is a big God. He doesn’t operate around humanistic boundaries. He operates in His own way that seems foolish to men, but wise to Him. It’s a rare opportunity for a pastor of any church to take the time and pour her life and lessons to me. I need to humble myself and cast down my pride to receive what she has to offer, and what God has to speak.
She says that I’m very blessed because she prays for me everyday. “Thanks,” I replied to her with a smile. She continues, “I pray for you everyday to serve the Lord full time.” My jaw drops. The humorous thing is that this isn’t the first time she told me this. I think it’s about the 4th time she told me this. And every time my jaw drops. It’s quite daunting. I’ll leave it at that.
Notes
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